| An MRI (or magnetic resonance imaging) scan | | | | extension cord, then I grabbed the radio with |
| is a radiology technique which uses | | | | one of my favorite CD's and plugged that into |
| magnetism, radio waves, and a computer to | | | | the extension cord. Then I tried to figure |
| produce images of body structures. The MRI | | | | out how to turn my ordinary refrigerator |
| scanner is a tube surrounded by a giant | | | | magnets into a small electron magnet. There |
| circular magnet. The patient is placed on a | | | | was a flurry of activity as I grabbed the |
| moveable bed which is inserted into the | | | | anodes and cathodes, my cat, (He was playing |
| magnet. The magnet creates a strong magnetic | | | | with one of them) and I attached wires, |
| field which aligns the protons of hydrogen | | | | fuses, toggle switch into a continuos loop.I |
| atoms, which are then exposed to a beam of | | | | sure am glad that I didn't waste any time |
| radio waves. This spins the various protons | | | | going to electronics in high school or the |
| of the body, and they produce a faint signal | | | | Navy because I had this all figured out in no |
| which is detected by the receiver portion of | | | | time. I think I found my niche in the world. |
| the MRI scanner. The receiver information is | | | | Five, ten, and even 15 minutes later there |
| processed by a computer, and an image is then | | | | was still no smoke on the magnet. This was |
| produced.At the doctors on Friday afternoon I | | | | when I now had to do the hardest thing, and |
| was told I might need an MRI, the above | | | | that was logging off of so I could use the |
| paragraph tells the medically minded people | | | | computer to create the "I" in the MRI. So |
| what an MRI is... I'm not medically minded | | | | there I was, completely alone with no one |
| nor do I have one of those machines at my | | | | IM'ing me or chatting on Scrolling IMs... I |
| disposal. I do have a radio, which does | | | | unplugged the computer from the wall and |
| generate rock and roll radio waves, a | | | | plugged it into the extension cord then I |
| computer(even though I rent it) and I have a | | | | plugged in the extension cord into the wall. |
| magnet. I also have a lifetime memberships to | | | | And nothing happened. I turned on the |
| ACME, the very same company that Will E. | | | | computer and as it was going through the |
| Coyote uses for his gadgets to stop a very | | | | booting and the Welcome to MSN I tried to rub |
| fast bird found in some southern states.I | | | | the converted electric magnet over my leg. |
| give Acme a call, tell them what I want to do | | | | All I could see was wavy lines on my |
| and they send me some anodes, cathodes, a few | | | | monitor.I thought, "Oh No my leg went back |
| light bulbs, a toggle switch, a few 20 watt | | | | into the Navy and didn't invite me". After a |
| fuses and an three receptacle extension cord. | | | | few moments I figured out that was impossible |
| They also sent me some very detailed | | | | because my leg was still there and |
| technical drawings called pink slips(I guess | | | | functioning. Then I came up with a Nobel |
| they thought that I wanted to have a drag | | | | Prize winning idea... I put the electric |
| race with their x-ray technician) These | | | | magnet in the shell of my mouse and connected |
| drawings were probably drawn by an overly | | | | it to the computer. I put this up to my leg |
| intelligent five year old because the | | | | and I nearly ran a marathon around my |
| pictures looked like a house, a tall stick | | | | livingroom. I really got a charge. Now if you |
| woman with long hair, a taller stick man with | | | | know anything about electronics you know I |
| a cowboy hat, and a smaller stick person | | | | have made all of this up so please don't try |
| walking a dog. I used one of my refrigerator | | | | this at home...and listen to your |
| magnets and hung up the picture on my freezer | | | | doctor.Christopher Williams is an author on ( |
| door.I poured myself a drink of Kool-Aid (and | | | | ) Feel free to check out some of my other |
| YES I did keep it away from my keyboard), | | | | writing at ( )He has been writing for most |
| then I walked into the livingroom/workspace | | | | of his 38 year old life but within the last |
| and looked at all the stuff I had collected | | | | five years has found his niche in writing |
| to make my very own MRI. The first thing I | | | | Comedy. articles. |
| did was remove the twist ties from the | | | | |