| In the Part 1 our hapless hero has had pretty | | | | trial. |
| much everything that can go wrong go wrong for | | | | That, and the fact that the guard was thrown |
| him on his way out the door and in to work. Once | | | | 'ass over tea-kettle' some ten yards away both |
| he arrives there....late....things don't improve and he | | | | weighed heavily against you in the final decision. |
| has now been summoned to the office of the | | | | The judge leaned conspiratorially towards you and |
| BIG BOSS....so you know this isn't going to be a | | | | said that if she wasn't bound by sentencing |
| good day straight off the bat. Not unless he is | | | | constraints she would have let you off with a |
| going to offer you a promotion, one that rewards | | | | warning. The fact that the guard wasn't seriously |
| you for arriving late for work. | | | | injured, but could have been, results in you having |
| You arrive at the door with the same dread as a | | | | a few extra months of wearing the homing |
| convicted felon about to meet his fate and raise a | | | | device otherwise known as electronic monitoring. |
| hand that seems to have developed an instant | | | | Not that it proved too much of an inconvenience, |
| case of tremors and feebly tap on the formidable | | | | it wasn't as though you were going to work |
| wood paneled door. | | | | everyday, or maybe not any day soon. In fact, |
| The voice of the BIG BOSS bellows out a call to | | | | once the trial was over it seemed so odd how it |
| enter and follows with an admonishment that if its | | | | all worked out, so destined. The first day of |
| that under-performing salesman then he may as | | | | monitoring coincided quite nicely with the day that |
| well not even bother. You enter and are brought | | | | you withdrew the last few dollars from the |
| up short by both the sheer opulence of his | | | | account and then on the way back to the house, |
| hardwood office suite and the continuing tirade | | | | on an impulse thought what the heck, and |
| that is now questioning the parentage of the | | | | stepped into the local watering hole for a fast cool |
| aforementioned salesman. Geneology discourse | | | | one. Settling into the chair you glance up at the |
| complete, he spins to face you and his face takes | | | | oversized screen thinking that maybe you can |
| on a new set of features. Grimly you think to | | | | watch part of the game and still make it back |
| yourself that the change in his expression wasn't | | | | before the supreme commander discovers your |
| for the better, nosireee bob, he has gone from | | | | prolonged absence. Well discovers it perhaps, but |
| sheer displeasure to something that seems akin | | | | if you're quick then you will still have a believable |
| to raw hatred with a liberal dollop of disdain | | | | alibi, having run into your cousin down at the bank |
| thrown in. | | | | and spent some time bringing him up to speed on |
| So, Rogers, he begins in a soft measured tone, | | | | the goings on in your life. Of course you also |
| the same kind of tone that the snake charmers | | | | know that if you have to use the excuse you will |
| of Bombay would use to coax customers closer | | | | have to phone your cuz PDQ to alert him to the |
| before sending their pickpocket friends through | | | | supposed conversation. |
| the crowd, it seems we have a time issue here. I | | | | Right about that time your reverie and sightline is |
| take full responsibility and wish to apologize to you | | | | disrupted by a man of rather a small stature |
| personally. | | | | who's voice is well out of proportion to the rest |
| You lean forward, this is too good to be true, | | | | of his body. His tone is just short of sarcastic but |
| beyond your wildest dream. The Big Boss kissing | | | | his inquiry about who owns the big feet that are |
| up to you, well you can see why, his policy of | | | | blocking his bleeding way to the table is delivered |
| being on time clearly is over the top. Its amazing | | | | at a full roar. You're halfway to your feet |
| so many people take that sooo seriously, there's | | | | clenching your fist and thinking about which day of |
| no need for you to have to adhere to it, why the | | | | the week you are going to knock him into when |
| man himself has as much as just said that this | | | | he bellows again. |
| doesn't apply to you. | | | | Rogers? Is that really you? Here in this little rat |
| See, Rogers, he begins again in his silky voice, I | | | | infested dive? What the hey are you doing here |
| had no idea of the complexity of your life and the | | | | and why in hey don't you buy me a beer? In fact, |
| incredible demands that must be placed on your | | | | why don't you buy everyone in here one? You're |
| time outside of work. I don't know what I was | | | | the guy that told me he is making a killing in the |
| thinking when I hired you, I mean to expect you | | | | fishing industry. You are still trying to splutter a |
| to just drop everything that you have going on | | | | reply to that outrageous claim as he turns to |
| to come in here every morning and work for this | | | | address the room in general. Yes folks, this guy is |
| company....he is even starting to sound | | | | the only reason that I didn't fail right out of high |
| disappointed in himself...then his voice begins to | | | | school. If I hadn't have been able to cheat of |
| take on an edge. | | | | virtually every math test that we ever had I |
| No, Rogers, I was wrong and way out of line to | | | | don't know where I'd be. Right about now you |
| ever have expected that you would have the | | | | are mentally chastising yourself for letting him |
| slightest idea of what being on time means. | | | | cheat, thinking that if you hadn't then you sure |
| Do you, Rogers? | | | | wouldn't be suffering through his diatribe now. |
| Oh, of course, I'm sorry. Of course you do. To | | | | 'Loudmouth' Larry had been a thorn in the side all |
| you it means coming in here 5 to 10 minutes late | | | | the way through high school although to be |
| pretty consistently because we here at 'Fish 4 | | | | perfectly honest you hadn't exactly been a player |
| Life' just don't get it, we don't understand that | | | | in the popular crowd. So there were more than a |
| you have priorities and we aren't one of them. | | | | few lunch hours that would have been pretty |
| I can clearly see that we are nothing more than a | | | | quiet if not for the presence of Larry. Actually |
| rock in the road of your picture perfect life, an | | | | there were no quiet hours when Larry was on |
| obstacle that you have to overcome | | | | the scene. His booming voice, so startling out of |
| By now the BIG BOSS is shouting, his face a | | | | such a small frame certainly set him apart the |
| dangerous purple, indicating that the dial is way up | | | | same way that a new car is parked well off by |
| in the cardiac lock-up meter, and you're thinking | | | | itself to keep the fender scuffers at bay. You had |
| oh great and you faked your way through the | | | | almost lost yourself in a bit of a daydream when |
| CPR class too. And if he blows a heart valve who | | | | an eighty decibel question rang in your ear. Rang is |
| is going to have to try to save his sorry butt?? | | | | the right term to use when describing how your |
| You? Are you kidding? You weren't even able to | | | | head felt after an animated conversation with |
| help your nine year old son's gerbil through after it | | | | Larry. |
| had eaten an entire package of soda crackers in | | | | Oh pardon, um not much, you stammer quickly |
| one afternoon and now you're going to save a | | | | hoping that he wont ask you again or want to |
| human's life. Oh that's sitcom level comedy and | | | | repeat anything that you say to pretty much |
| you realize with a jolt that this isn't how a sitcom | | | | anyone that will listen. Well Rogers, let me tell you |
| is supposed to go. | | | | how I am. Anyone else would think it odd that he |
| You stand to go and he moves to block your | | | | would say anything without being asked, but they |
| path but you are so much quicker than him. As | | | | didn't know Larry. I've got the world by the balls |
| he lumbers to the left you slide further left than | | | | Rogers and its all on account of one little thing. His |
| reverse and come around him on the right side | | | | voice actually dropped now, down to a stage |
| and beat a hasty retreat down the hall to your | | | | whisper for Larry. See Rogers, its that one little |
| office with a distant thud following you down the | | | | thing that sets us apart, the thing that puts you |
| hall. Once in the your office you blink your beady | | | | on the road to mediocrity and me on the road to |
| eyes and then shift them rapidly from side to side | | | | fame and fortune. |
| looking in vain for some way out. Hastily you | | | | Its because I went to college and you didn't. Of |
| throw your personal effects into a cardboard box | | | | course he bellows this at a full volume rip so that |
| and clutching it with a demented like fervor you | | | | the entire place can hear it. Remember how I told |
| sprint down the steps. Your popped ankle is giving | | | | you that it was so important and you told me |
| you hell but you are on a mission. | | | | that you didn't have the money. And let me go |
| The mission to save your miserable hide, you | | | | one step further now too and make a gigantic |
| think as you stumble over the curb staring | | | | mental leap and predict that you don't have the |
| wide-mouthed across the lot at the ambulance | | | | money now either. |
| arriving in a Code 3, full siren and lights blazing. | | | | You're starting to think that maybe Larry does |
| Dear God, you're thinking as you fumble for the | | | | have X-ray vision glasses like you could get out |
| keys to your deathtrap, have him hang on long | | | | of the backs of old comic books and that he can |
| enough that I can get out of this parking lot. | | | | actually see into your pockets and that he knows |
| The car motor coughs once and a blue smoke | | | | that you are broke. So as it turns out, Rogers, |
| ring issues from the tailpipe. On the next try it | | | | today is your lucky day, let me show you how |
| catches and with a wheezing effort manages to | | | | you too can look like me. Although that isn't |
| make it to the gate. Later testimony in court | | | | exactly a closing sales pitch in your mind there is |
| showed how you attempted to slow for the | | | | no denying that his leather jacket isn't cheap and |
| guard to raise the gate, at least in your words | | | | nor is the rest of his clothing or the jewelry that |
| although the security camera clearly showed | | | | he is flashing about. He follows your eyes and |
| something quite different. It revealed a facial | | | | smiles. You can have all this too he intones, but |
| expression that was best described as a | | | | first we have to get you an education. |
| combination of fierce determination and maniacal | | | | Whoa, whoa, hold it right there you protest. You |
| glee, according to one juror who summed it up in | | | | are not, repeat not, going back to school. Not |
| the sequestered room in the late stages of your | | | | ever again. Period. |