Butchering Customer Service

All businesses strive to provide excellentto bed, but at last he'd drifted off. That is, until
customer service, but there's a fine line betweenthe phone rang. I was roused from a very deep
service and servility. Extreme servility is calledsleep by the phone ringing and our child yelling for
obsequiousness. Now there's a word for you toMommy.
know. Even if you don't know what it means,Too unawake to check the caller ID, I answered.
you've experienced it-maybe in a restaurant, aTo my utter amazement, it was another
clothing store, a car dealership, anywhere wherecompany rep wanting to know if I was ready to
employees hope that by virtue of their attentionorder more filets. It was time to take this bull by
they will make sales or garner large tips. It's onethe horns. "No," I said, "not now, not ever again!" I
thing to be attentive and meet customers' needs;can't remember exactly, but I'm sure I pointed
it's another to be so present and "in their face"out that I'd asked to have my name and number
that customers think you want them to adoptremoved from their list. That he had had the
you.audacity to call so late in the evening was
A few months ago, I ordered a gift of steaksabsolutely beyond my comprehension.
and roasts from a meat mail order business forThis experience is a clear illustration of how
some family members. When nocustomer service can go terribly wrong. Probably
acknowledgement came, I called to find out ifpart of this was due to someone misreading the
they had gotten their present. As it turned out,data and assuming that since I had placed a
the parcel delivery service had left the packagesubstantial order, I would likely do so again. Who
at the wrong address, but the people who hadknows? Maybe I would have at a later time, but
received it in error were honest enough tothe "overkill" from the sales staff turned out to
immediately call the intended recipients to letbe a deal breaker as far as I'm concerned.
them know about the mix up.Let this be a cautionary tale for any businesses
The only person who had made a mistake wasout there that think "hard selling" is going to work
the delivery man who'd misread the mailing label,every time. In many cases it will backfire and
and no one ever heard a word out of him or hishave just the opposite effect from the one you
company. The same can't be said for the meatwant.
company. In its relentless pursuit to keepI've recently conducted a
customers satisfied, company representativesless-than-statistically-valid study polling people (my
started calling me-daily-to make sure I was stilloffice manager, my aunt, and a very nice woman
happy and to see if I didn't want to order morebehind me in a line at Safeway) about customer
meat.disservice. Although not all the results are in, here
After the umpteenth call that resulted in noare ten tips to take to heart to keep your
additional purchases from me, I asked to havecustomers truly satisfied:
my name and number removed from the calling1. Just because your business model says
list. Being nice hadn't worked. Maybe some forcecustomers should, in all probability, be interested in
would be more effective. Keep in mind I had hadbuying something, don't assume they're kidding
absolutely no beef with the mail order companywhen they tell you no.
until now. It was at this point, however, that2. Limit unsolicited calls to the same person.
customer service attention turned into customer3. Call at a reasonable time.
obsession.4. After you hear "Hello," really listen to what the
I thought I'd gotten the point across, but about aother person says to you.
week later I started receiving calls at my work5. Don't argue when the customer says "no."
number. When I would take advantage of the6. Honor the customer's wishes.
caller ID feature on my phone, I saw an area7. If you are offering service to someone in
code and number I didn't recognize. I answered inperson, be available, but don't hover.
my usual way, but each time the caller said8. An internet order does not give you
nothing and simply hung up. This happened severalauthorization to call someone at home or work to
times until I checked the number and discoveredoffer add-on purchases or services.
it was the cattle crew. This was out of control. I'd9. Know that a lot of people have caller ID, so
said no from my home number. The answerdon't call and hang up without saying something.
wasn't going to be any different on my business10. Ask yourself: Would you want to get the call
line. Now they were intruding on my work dayyou're getting ready to make?
without saying a word.This is just a starting point. Maybe you have
One final call (and I emphasize the word final)some pet peeves of your own. If so, send them
came at 9:17 p.m. last week. Dinner was longto our website. There are plenty of people we
over, and no one in the house was thinking aboutlike to hear from. Just don't contact me about
food, especially not about T-bones. No one wasbuying anything that was standing on four legs
consciously thinking about anything since we wereand had a pulse until recently. I'm now a
all asleep. It had taken almost an hour to get thevegetarian thanks to the last person who did!
three-year-old to quit fussing about having to go