On School Days Mom Stalks The Big Game

I don't know when the hunting season is in yourcase of an emergency.My hunting license leads
part of the country, but in my house it is everyme to the basement. I creep down the stairs, full
school day from August through June. Why elseof anxiety, looking to paper "bag" school books
am I hunting through old purses at 6:00 a.m. tryingwith serviceable covers. (I have three school-age
to stalk a quarter for my son's milk money? Thekids). One year my daughter covered her books
only thing I trap are lint-covered lifesavers, anwith a roll of $10.50 wallpaper. Our bathroom is
Eisenhower button, and a grocery list of strainedthe only one in the neighborhood with one bare
vegetables (my youngest is eight years old). It iswall.The White Huntress still has to enter three
about as exciting as spending 12 hours in a duckbedrooms (It's a jungle in there) to snare one
blind.I must remember to give my child someoverdue library book, one glasses case, one
dollar bills tomorrow so he can purchase "The Lionraincoat, and two pairs of sneakers. (My
And The Alligator" and "Mindy And the Moose" atexperienced nose led me to the last items quicker
the school book fair. Once the hunting seasonthan a hound dog on a scent). I am surprised I
starts he suddenly develops a serious case ofdon't get bagged for exceeding the legal limit.On
buck fever.My next aim is to locate a black inkthe trail I am surprised to come upon a wild
pen to record the emergency information theanimal (my youngest son). And I wasn't even
school requires. How are they to know whatdear hunting.Ms. Adams is a freelance writer for
doctor to call if he should have a sudden attacknewspapers, magazines, and books. She also
of gout, or come down with velocipede of thewrote jokes for Phyllis Diller which she told on tv.
chest? I am supposed to also list the telephoneYou can see her own page at SQUIDOOand her
number of a relative or neighbor who sits by theblog at CAN WE WRITE?
phone eight hours a day waiting to be called in