| An MRI (or magnetic resonance imaging) scan is a | | | | first thing I did was remove the twist ties from |
| radiology technique which uses magnetism, radio | | | | the extension cord, then I grabbed the radio with |
| waves, and a computer to produce images of | | | | one of my favorite CD's and plugged that into the |
| body structures. The MRI scanner is a tube | | | | extension cord. Then I tried to figure out how to |
| surrounded by a giant circular magnet. The patient | | | | turn my ordinary refrigerator magnets into a small |
| is placed on a moveable bed which is inserted into | | | | electron magnet. There was a flurry of activity as |
| the magnet. The magnet creates a strong | | | | I grabbed the anodes and cathodes, my cat, (He |
| magnetic field which aligns the protons of | | | | was playing with one of them) and I attached |
| hydrogen atoms, which are then exposed to a | | | | wires, fuses, toggle switch into a continuos loop.I |
| beam of radio waves. This spins the various | | | | sure am glad that I didn't waste any time going to |
| protons of the body, and they produce a faint | | | | electronics in high school or the Navy because I |
| signal which is detected by the receiver portion of | | | | had this all figured out in no time. I think I found |
| the MRI scanner. The receiver information is | | | | my niche in the world. Five, ten, and even 15 |
| processed by a computer, and an image is then | | | | minutes later there was still no smoke on the |
| produced.At the doctors on Friday afternoon I | | | | magnet. This was when I now had to do the |
| was told I might need an MRI, the above | | | | hardest thing, and that was logging off of so I |
| paragraph tells the medically minded people what | | | | could use the computer to create the "I" in the |
| an MRI is... I'm not medically minded nor do I have | | | | MRI. So there I was, completely alone with no |
| one of those machines at my disposal. I do have | | | | one IM'ing me or chatting on Scrolling IMs... I |
| a radio, which does generate rock and roll radio | | | | unplugged the computer from the wall and |
| waves, a computer(even though I rent it) and I | | | | plugged it into the extension cord then I plugged in |
| have a magnet. I also have a lifetime | | | | the extension cord into the wall. And nothing |
| memberships to ACME, the very same company | | | | happened. I turned on the computer and as it was |
| that Will E. Coyote uses for his gadgets to stop a | | | | going through the booting and the Welcome to |
| very fast bird found in some southern states.I | | | | MSN I tried to rub the converted electric magnet |
| give Acme a call, tell them what I want to do and | | | | over my leg. All I could see was wavy lines on |
| they send me some anodes, cathodes, a few light | | | | my monitor.I thought, "Oh No my leg went back |
| bulbs, a toggle switch, a few 20 watt fuses and | | | | into the Navy and didn't invite me". After a few |
| an three receptacle extension cord. They also | | | | moments I figured out that was impossible |
| sent me some very detailed technical drawings | | | | because my leg was still there and functioning. |
| called pink slips(I guess they thought that I | | | | Then I came up with a Nobel Prize winning idea... I |
| wanted to have a drag race with their x-ray | | | | put the electric magnet in the shell of my mouse |
| technician) These drawings were probably drawn | | | | and connected it to the computer. I put this up to |
| by an overly intelligent five year old because the | | | | my leg and I nearly ran a marathon around my |
| pictures looked like a house, a tall stick woman | | | | livingroom. I really got a charge. Now if you know |
| with long hair, a taller stick man with a cowboy | | | | anything about electronics you know I have made |
| hat, and a smaller stick person walking a dog. I | | | | all of this up so please don't try this at home...and |
| used one of my refrigerator magnets and hung | | | | listen to your doctor.Christopher Williams is an |
| up the picture on my freezer door.I poured | | | | author on ( ) Feel free to check out some of my |
| myself a drink of Kool-Aid (and YES I did keep it | | | | other writing at ( )He has been writing for most |
| away from my keyboard), then I walked into the | | | | of his 38 year old life but within the last five |
| livingroom/workspace and looked at all the stuff I | | | | years has found his niche in writing Comedy. |
| had collected to make my very own MRI. The | | | | articles. |